Even More Movie Class Notes.

Because the one of two people who read this blog said they were amused by the last entry, here are more hurriedly typed and misspelled notes from my movie class.

SCRITPSZ

Screenplay - The original script.  John is a writer.  

Shooting script - OH SHIT I FORGOT TO WRITE THIS DOWN.  CRAP

Storyboard - series of drawings showing a visual representation of a film.  If elaborated, called cells.  CELLS JOHHNY, CELLS

Mike and Alex are storyboarders.  John is still a writer.  Probably a very talented, avant-garde writer.

TAKE ME DAOWN TO PARADDIESE CITY WHEAR THE GRASS IZ GREEN AND THE GURLZ R PRITTY!!!  OOOHHH WAOUNT YOU PLEEEEZ TAEK ME HOOEOEEEEMMMMM!!!!!!!

Cutting Contiunity - a description of the finished film. 

"TREACHERY OF THE HIGHEST ORDER!  I WILL REPORT THIS TO THE HIGH COUNCIL!!!"
"You will report nothing."  *bang*.   I can imagine my teacher saying that first line in a crazy, hammy voice.  Kind of like a Space Marine.  BAATTLE BROOOTHERS!!!

What If Our Heads Were Mushrooms?

Fig 1. Scary Glowing UFO Mushroom

Think about it.

If our heads were replaced with with glowing, multicoloured fungi.  As we walked, we would spread spores all around, breeding new mushroom-heads that would grow up around us.  Then again, it may cause overpopulation problems, so that would have to be dealt with.  Perhaps unnecessary mushroom-heads could be eaten.  It would be nutritious!  

I still think it would be cool though.  Different mushrooms could could indicate social status, vibrant Lactarias Indigo would sprout from the necks of the rich and privileged, and the poor and downtrodden would posses mere Fly Agaric for noggins. 

We'd have to maintain them of course, and water them and things like that.  Knowing humans, rituals would probably form this process.  Watering rituals.  Yes.

This post made more sense in my head.

More Movie Class Notes

 I am currently in movie class, and the teacher is lecturing.  He is lecturing about things I already know about, and have internalized, so my notes turned out to be somewhat amusing. 

BASIC SIX TRANSITIONS:

1. Cut - move with one scene to the next. 

2. Match/Form Cut - leave one, go to the next, matches up. 

3. Jump Cut - Sudden cut from one scene to the next.  Surprises and disorients the viewer. 

4. Fade in/out - You know what this is.  Derpy derp. 

5. Dissolve - Bring one shot over the next, YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS AS WELL YOU'VE USED ALL OF THESE

6. Wipe - YOU'VE USED EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE IN EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE WHY AM I EVEN TAKING NOTES GAH I WANT TO PUT CANDY CANES IN MY EARS

7. He's talking about Star Wars.  Kay.  

8. "Cascana" should be a real word.  It sounds like a thing. 

9. YESH!!!!!  YESH!!!!!

10. Oh hey, it's that annoying FBI warning.  YOU WOUNLDDNT STEAL A CARRRRRR!!!!!!

11. Mollusk. 

12. I'm done with numbers. 

We're watching Sahara!

"RWHAHAAHTATCHAHRAHCHAHAR!  FOURFIFITY SAMAMAPRAFAFTARAHARA!!!"

"Stoptiszsz, Kenszzz.  Stopsszzits!!!"

Well, there's that. 

Blank

It's 11:32 AM, and I am looking at a blank screen.

I feel like the empty sheet of paper has been romanticized in American literature.  It symbolizes a new beginning, a template from which one can start again from; it also can symbolize frustration, a lack of creativity, a absence of thought.  For me, right now, it symbolizes me being tired and writing a strange blog post.

Why did I write this?

Train of thought

I have been taking a film class (actually quite a good one), and I have recently had the pleasure(?) of seeing the original 1931 version of King Kong.  I was taking notes on my laptop as I watched it, and I thought an internet person might want to see them.  In retrospect, this is a stupid plan.  Oh well.

You may see a lot of spelling errors, and the notes will show up in a strange, archaic font.  This is because I was using Notepad to type with.

Yeah, that thing.  As you might expect, it does not have a spellcheck.

I have located some of the best (or at least as good as one could get in this situation) notes, and compiled them. Here they are.  I cannot promise they will be interesting, funny, or even coherent.  The only thing I changed was to add clarifications to whoever is talking in the quotes.

This is already not promising.

And it's getting less promising.  

Everybody talks strangly, perhaps I should write it.  it might be funny

"I'LL GET A GIRL FOR MY PITCHUR, EVEN IF I HAVE TO MARRY HER!!!" - The Director Guy.

It's like it's reading from a book of stereotypes of female characters.  Soft focus!  Fainting!  Lady in distress!  

"NOOEEEEE FUNNY BUISHNESS" - That Director Guy

"HEYLAMANOONTHEWINCHGETHAHAMANONDECKANFARMHANDDECKANHAND!!!!!!!!!!!" - Angry Sailor

Oh my god, this is like the sexism handbook.  

Great, stereotypical chinese man as well.  Peachy.  This movie is racist as well as sexist.

That one shipmate is a complete asshole.  Jesus.  "JUST BEING AROUND IS TROUBLE.  WOMEN ARE ARE NUSICENSE.  THEY BELONG IN THE KITCHEN!".  What's worse is she agrees with him.  Gah.

"YOUTHINKIMAFALLFORRADAME!?" - Unpleasant sailor that also happens to be the male lead.  Kill me now. 

The big chart!  Hahaha, that's great.  

When they showed the islad, I almost expected a picture of Charlie Sheen or something.  

"Did you ever hear of....... KONG?" <- that line kills me for some reason.  

Urgh, the sexism in this movie is really bothering me.  Its distracting,is what it is.  I suppose I shouldn't rag on an aspect of a movie this old, but still... ugh.

"THATS NOT BREAKERZ, EETZ DRUMSZ!!!" - Director guy.  

Guns!

Birds!  

Boat!

"AQUENNATENYBOATS!!!" - I don't even remember. 

"OHHIWISHWELEFTYOUONTHESHIP" - Asshole sailor guy again.  

Tribesmen!  My my.  What is all this?  

How can the director get a picthooor and not be sseen if he's shouting all the time?  Ah, they've been spotted. 

HHahahaha, I love how the tuba hits are synced to the tribal leaders footstps.  So classic. 

"GREAT!  FINDOUTWHATCHERGOUNADEW!" - ...The Director?  I don't even remember.
    
Bollam la potato?  Those tribesmen sound like they're saying cooking recipes.  


That was just some of the most messed up dialogue ever.  "I, uh... suppose I love you."  "But I thought you hate women?" "Well, I... uh, suppose I do."  lolwut.  

SNEAK ATTACK!  +1 BLONDE DAME ACQUIRED!  

Here is a V: \\//

"wentowally?  Whenweleavethisplace, menolike!" - Racist Stereotype Chinese guy.  Charlie was his name, I think.  

My god, that scene where everyone is yelling is absolute gold.  EVERYWYOWNENEYRWHWHOAEVERYWHOAONDEACFKCAHWHOAEVERYONWHOAONEVERYAWHOAONDECKWEYOEANVCVHON!!!

Where did these tribesmen get a brass band?  

"olaaoalololaolaololaoalaoalaoalaoalaoalaoalaoalaolaoalaoaloaloaloalaolaoala!" - Tribesmen

sOPEN THE GATE!  ...sopen the gate?  

...what

Ah, I see what's going to happen here.  she's going to attachefd to the pillars, and then ol' Kong will come and om nom nom her.  Makes sense.  

God, this music is so Melodramatic.  

Gong!  The Gong summons the Kong!  It all makes sense now! 

THERE HIS IS
AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH    
Actually, the close-ups on hsi face look pretty good.  The other parts, not so much.  

Here comes the cavalry, haha, tiny stop-motion puppet.  

"BRANK-KAYBRANK!  ALRIGHTLETHSHSHEY STEY HERE WITHHALFMENGUARDINGHERE!!" -The Director, surprise surprise.  He seems to always be shouting.  

For some reason, this is making me watn to watch A Clockwork Orange.  

"Alsperlobird!" <- I don't even remember what this is.  

"C'mon fellas, keep those guns cocked!".  Naughty.  

It's a stergosaurus!  Or whatever.  WaIT, what?  They weren't aggressive.  RESEARCH IS FOR BABIES.  

"Whaddya call this thing?" <-The line after they killed the non-aggressive stegosaurus.  I really wish that -> "Oh, probably a rear-projection." was the actual reply, because that's what it was. 

I like how those dudes are just standing on the pallet while the other guys are moving it like servants.  Jeez..  

What other badly-researched threat will they face now?  

Hey, it's the Loch Ness Monster!  Hi Nessie!  

Wait, I don't think those weren't aggressive either.  weren't they herbavores?  

YEah, I think those were definitely one of the harmless ones.  Diplosaurs?  The only risk from those dudes was getting accidentally stepped on.  They ate plants.  

That transition bbetween claymation and llive-action was smooth, I must admit.  

At least there;'s no sexism going on; there's no talking.  Just craziness and an annoying score.    

"OOOOOOAAAOOAAOAAOAOAOA!!!! *Dies*"

I can't take the claymation seriously, because it's all moving at twice normal speed.  

Heh, Kong's like HEY DOWN THERE, HEY!  HEY!  YOU!  GIT OUT FROM THERE!"  

Aha!  A T-rex!  Finally, an actual dinosaur that was proven to be aggressive.  

"Oh!  Aah!  Aiie!  *hides face*"

Eww, that was pretty nasty, actually.  Props to them.  

I love Kong's look.  -> :=D

Shneak away?  

This score is reminding me of Looney Tunes in the way that it starts and stops.  

Ick.  Well played with the dead t-rex, filmmakers, pretty nasty for 1931.  

Welp, looks like the second half of my notes were erased.  Oh well, they weren't very interesting.    

Back to this.

I've decided to get back to blogging, even though nobody reads it.  Why?  I don't know, perhaps it's an outlet for literary creativity or some nonsense like that, or perhaps I'm just stupid.  But after several months of absence, I will continue.

Instead of blogging about music, I have changed my mind: this blog will be about anything I want.  This fits my scatterbrained approach to things, and lets me include all sorts of strange ramblings on many irreverent things.  Haven't you ever wondered why you have teeth, rather then tiny chainsaws?  Exactly.