My Stupid Life episode 1: in which I try to make the Mundane Interesting

I went to the graduation of a family friend recently, which was fairly boring.  What was more interesting, however, is the hotel we stayed in.  There were a few odd things about it, which I will now list for no reason whatsoever.

1: It smelled very strange.  The hallways smelled like chlorine, and the bathroom smelled like tacos.  As far as the latter goes, I can only presume that someone snuck into the bathroom to eat a taco smuggled illegally across the Canadian border.  I feel this is an excellent and sound theory.

2: One of their stairwells had two exits signs, one on the ceiling, and one on the floor.  I presume that was for the benefit of very stupid people.

3: They had free muffins.  Now, I don't think I've ever publicly expressed my love for muffins before, so I will now.  I love muffins.  Any shape, any flavour, as long as they're tasty and are full of empty calories.  But there is such a thing as a bad muffin, and the ones being given out at that hotel definitely count.  They were made of what I can only assume was packing foam, and tasted like air freshener liquid.  I believe that the hotel staff were attempting to poison the stay-ees at their hotel, so that they could keep the corpses in their rooms and charge them for staying overtime.

I have been informed that free muffins in a hotel is not an unusual phenomenon.