Fork

I should make clear that this post was made under the influence of having had very little sleep, and from staying up till 1:00 AM.  So if what follows is somewhat incoherent, trust me: it's entirely my fault.

So, there hasn't been many posts on this blog recently.  And by "many posts" I mean "any posts", and I figure its time to change that.

The main reason I haven't been posting recently is because of the simple kitchen utensil known as the fork.  Yes indeed, this common implement of the dining table has kept my fascinated for these many months.  

But I'm getting ahead of myself, let me start at the beginning.

Spoon

Forks, as we all know, were invented in 1749 by a french gentleman known as Frans Félipo.  He was busy shearing his flock of sheep (as one was obliged to do in those days), when he came across a strange phenomenon.  Every sixteenth stroke of his shearer, the sheep he was shearing with his shearer would float a few inches off the ground.  

Not pictured: anything I just talked about.

Now, this intrigued Frans, who swiftly returned to his house and made a phone call to his good friend Grégoire to till him the news.  Grégoire, a renowned physicist and lightbulb detoxifier, responded with the following quote:

"Pourquoi bonjour, Frans! C'est drôle de vous voir ici! Je marche sur une route remplie d'oies firy ​​pendant dix-sept ans! Cependant, il n'y avait pas des moutons partout, donc je vais prendre un serment de sang contre vous."

Wisdom for the ages.

The result of me Google searching "dog".  Close enough.

An Exciting Story

So, its t2 in teh maornign, inand i a baout to fall over dead from liak of sleep.  but fisrt i deded ice d to careats a littlte cronicle of the adventures i wnet htiad wrioting this.  mv,  

cjaetper 1

logyd og nihd ert ouydifr nrimnh nih snf dlguomj  ;rh dithrtu yjtr smhtu yrtttptody ertrtrepg; niy spjrd s ,pypm
t  su yjod [pomu,. up ,r jpmrtddfu. o'hnt hypjpuut, pnt tntm  mt h lyt dmilmt lm umt ;k;lkd.hn,n,n,d,nd




 m. pgj,sjg umotd mt cu, i[oysrmu ; spu; plssi    k st,u mst                                                                                 smus
s
sssssssss

Sarah helps me

I discovered that chatting with the Paypal auto-responding bot thing is very entertaining.  Here is a stimulating conversation we had.

Sarah
Hello, I'm Sarah and I'm here to answer your questions about PayPal. Even though I'd like to be a real person, I'm not. I'm programmed to answer your questions. How can I help you?

You
how is babby formed?

Sarah
I don't know exactly what you mean. Can you be a little more specific about the issue?

You
HOW IS BABBY FORMED

Sarah
I'm sorry, but I still don't understand your question. For further assistance, you can contact PayPal directly.

You
YOU DONT UNDERSTAND THE QUESTION BECAUSE YOU ARE STUPID

Sarah
I'm sorry you seem to think I'm not so intelligent. I'm a virtual agent, so I can't answer everything. If you'll rephrase your question, I'll do my best to try to help you.

You
HOW IS BABBY FORMED!?

Sarah
I'm sorry, but I still don't understand your question. For further assistance, you can contact PayPal directly.

You
ASDFGHJKL::;;Afl;sflks;agjewioutpra

Sarah
I'm sorry, but I still don't understand your issue. For further assistance, you can contact PayPal directly.

You
Fine, be that way.

Sarah
Great.
How can I help you?

halao

As a matter of interest, I recently checked my spam folder, and found this robotic gem:

Sender: Chole
Im a 28 single female looking for friends maybe more. I enjoy being outside,
playing darts, camping, drinking, and dancing.
Im looking for a man 18 to 40 who is single, has a job, and likes to have
fun
my pics are here:
(link removed because the address is probably a virus hive.)

I replied with this:

(Me)	3:35 PM (7 minutes ago)
to Chloe

 How kind of you!  Go away now.

GO AWAY

As of late, the social networking stie LinkedIn has been emailing me.  And won't stop.  It's sheer power of being annoying seems to constantly bypass my spam filter.  So recently I sent them this email:

"STOP EMAILING ME

I WILL TELEPORT THROUGH THE INTERNET AND FIND YOU

STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP

I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR STUPID SITE

LEAVE ME ALONE."

My guess is that this will do absolutely nothing.

My Stupid Life episode 1: in which I try to make the Mundane Interesting

I went to the graduation of a family friend recently, which was fairly boring.  What was more interesting, however, is the hotel we stayed in.  There were a few odd things about it, which I will now list for no reason whatsoever.

1: It smelled very strange.  The hallways smelled like chlorine, and the bathroom smelled like tacos.  As far as the latter goes, I can only presume that someone snuck into the bathroom to eat a taco smuggled illegally across the Canadian border.  I feel this is an excellent and sound theory.

2: One of their stairwells had two exits signs, one on the ceiling, and one on the floor.  I presume that was for the benefit of very stupid people.

3: They had free muffins.  Now, I don't think I've ever publicly expressed my love for muffins before, so I will now.  I love muffins.  Any shape, any flavour, as long as they're tasty and are full of empty calories.  But there is such a thing as a bad muffin, and the ones being given out at that hotel definitely count.  They were made of what I can only assume was packing foam, and tasted like air freshener liquid.  I believe that the hotel staff were attempting to poison the stay-ees at their hotel, so that they could keep the corpses in their rooms and charge them for staying overtime.

I have been informed that free muffins in a hotel is not an unusual phenomenon.

My Other Car

Well, I've been hiding for a very long time.  Who knew that empty barrels were such an effective hideout?  At any rate, I'm back, and ready to start doing things again!  Let's start with this interesting video:

 

This song is from the soon-to-be-released called...something.  I'm debating between "Tasty Fuzzy Carpet Time", or "My Other Car Is A Rainbow". 

Laser Fish!