Fact Und Fiction

May 3rd:
Well, hello there, you’re looking fine, my good virtual diary.  Today was quite the day!  I went out shopping with my mother, and got several bits of produce, therefore confirming the meaningless of my existence.  I sometimes wish I didn’t have to eat to survive, it would be convenient.  

May 4th:
I had a interesting dream last night; I was riding a minecart.  Inside the minecart was me, my sister, and a giant, anthropomorphic talking egg.  As far as I recall, we were trying to escape some sort of dictatorship.  It was very strange, to say the least.

May 5th:
We watched a film in class!  It involved an ape and a woman, and was quite the letdown, let me tell you.  

There he is.  Cheerful fellow.

May 7th:
I have been absent from my computer for some time, as I have been out playing Skeeball with some friends.  It is a game of skill, dexterity, and reflexes, and in terms of sheer challenge, it’s only match is tiddlywinks.  I swapped the tickets won for a large prosthetic animal, and now feel quite good about myself.


May 8th:
Quite the rainstorm today, in fact, there was a tornado warning.  I hate tornado warnings, because the part of my brain that takes care of such things interprets them less as “warnings” and more as “certainties”.  Because of this, the amount of times I have been convinced a oscillating death is upon me when it is more then it should.

May 11:
I am currently chewing upon a tissue box.  I wonder if it objects to the experience?  I mean, if it were to sprout a mouth and voice it’s objections, would it?  Or would it be pleased at the attention?  This bears thinking about.

May 12: Longcat is looooooooooooooooong.

May 13thhhhhh:
I wish I had prehensile hair so that I could traverse uneven terrain with ease, using my hair.  

May 14tH:
I meditated today, visualizing a typhoon made up of multiples of the face of the TV star Charlie Sheen.  It was a calming experience.

 

The colors are as calming as the imagery. 

Пятнадцатого мая:
Giant dinosaurs: if they could fly, I wonder if they would sing?  A song written by them:
I AM A FLYING DINOSAUR
IN THE SKY
I WILL DESTROY THE EARTH
AFTER EATING PIE
WRHURHRUHRUHRURHURHRUHRURHRUHRURHRUU

May 16th:
AH NEED JOO TEWNIGHT, DOOO DODODO DODODOOOOOOO.  MAEEGS ME SWET

May or may not 17th:
I am looking at my computer desktop.  It is a sorry sight.  Icons are scattered this way and that, like dead leaves in a pond.  I really should organize it, but whenever I think of doing that, a crushing sorrow descends upon my heart, and the desire leaves me.  

The blue TF2 backround really adds to the pond metaphor.  

May 21st:
I seem to have fallen into a time-hole, Doctor Who style.  Inside this hole is a banana, a poster for the Cracker Barrel, one of those little 4th of July tanks that you light up that throw sparks everywhere, and a monkey that is performing Beethoven's 3rd movement backwards.  How he’s performing it backwards is beyond me, perhaps he is a DJ and is proficient with sample reversing.  Classical music DJ monkey.

MAEY TWNTERY SECOOND:
Shoop!  Wanananaana!  I’m not even winded!  Is anybody keeping track of my head batted’ in?  Boink!  Hey chuclekenuts!  You’re like a car crash in slow motion, I can see you, boom!  Right through a windshield!  I REGRET EVERYTHING!  EVERYTHING I’VE EVER DONE!

May Twnty Three:
I have been playing far too much Team Fortress 2.  MAAAAAAAAAGGGOTS!!!!

May 25th:
Lawalalalalawwawlawlawlawlwalaw

May 26th:
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

May 31st:
RUN

May 34th:
I WONDER WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO DROP A CONCRETE MOLD OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN INTO A SWISS CHEESE VAT

A small reward upon capture.

June 1st:
Well, enough of that silliness.